To Those Hurting on Mother’s Day

Today might feel heavy.

As the world floods with tributes to mothers—cards, flowers, brunches, and smiling photos—it can be hard to breathe through the ache if your relationship with your mother has been one of pain, absence, or longing. Whether you're estranged, grieving a connection that never was, or carrying the weight of disappointment year after year, please know that your feelings are valid. You are not alone in this quiet sorrow.

There is a special kind of heartache that comes from having to mother yourself.

To teach yourself tenderness when you weren’t shown it.

To comfort yourself when there was no one else who knew how.

To set boundaries with someone who was supposed to love you but didn’t know how to love safely.

People don’t often understand how hard it is to hold the line when the world tells you “but she’s your mother.” As if biology should override pain. As if your peace is less important than their comfort. But you’ve learned, sometimes painfully, that love without safety is not love at all. That staying in harm’s way doesn’t heal the wound—it deepens it.

So instead, you’ve learned to find the good in other places.

In chosen family. In mentors. In friends who remind you that you are worthy of care and warmth. You’ve found the courage to surround yourself with people who help fill the gaps—not replace what was lost, but help you build something new.

And most incredibly, you’ve become the parent you always needed.

You are the one who whispers encouragement on hard days.

The one who celebrates your wins, no matter how small.

The one who picks yourself up after life knocks you down.

The one who teaches yourself how to rest, how to feel, how to heal.

That kind of resilience takes profound strength. It is no small thing to raise yourself—to give yourself the love and nurturing you were denied. It is an act of defiance, of hope, and of deep self-respect.

So today, while others celebrate their mothers, I want to celebrate you.

You, who have done the hard and sacred work of re-parenting yourself.

You, who have broken cycles.

You, who are still learning what it means to feel safe, to feel loved, to belong.

You are brave. You are worthy. And you deserve to be honoured on this day too.

With love and gentleness,

You are seen. You are celebrated. You are not alone.